Catch Them Being Good!!
So lots of people have written to me (which is cool, I love to hear from you), about the way they find the world a harsh place to be. Particularly in terms of the way we interact with each other at times; and how can one be so positive as I am about our beautiful planet and all who co-exist on her? I am not a fan of rose-tinted glasses but I do advocate, if you are feeling down about our wonderful network of humanity, an approach used in schools for turning around the behaviour of ‘naughty’ children – Catch them being good!
Of course people do bad things – we see it on the news every day, we may experience it in our lives – but you know, on the whole, most people do good things. Simple, everyday little acts of kindness, sharing and compassion. All you have to do is to start to notice, and the more you do, the more you will notice more, and the more your faith in humanity will be realised. (For those teachers out there, I can hear you saying, it is the perpetrator who is meant to then start being good by positive reinforcement – I know – but it kind of works for the onlooker too in terms of changing attitude - trust me!)
If you open your eyes and really notice what is going on today as you walk to work you’ll see: a young woman helping a mother off the bus with her cumbersome pushchair; a school crossing lollipop man wiping away a boy’s tears after he falls over; a shopkeeper taking a few pennies less than the price from an old lady buying teabags; strangers stopping to chat and smile as their dogs connect on the street; a driver waving other drivers through with a cheery smile at a busy junction; a neighbour snipping another’s overgrown hedge as they are too frail to do it themselves or a man stopping to hold open the huge street bin lid for a child who is trying to drop their litter into it. This what is what I saw on my walk to work this morning – it’s a short walk. In less than five minutes. I saw all of these wonderful people doing wonderful random acts of humanity. What can you experience when you catch us all being good?
I love you, humanity
Good morning beautiful people!
I promised I would tell you more about the concept of being self-full – I know this is going to really help some of you. It is an idea, a way of being, that I teach almost of all of the people I work with. Those that I don’t teach it to either already know it or just aren’t ready to embrace it yet.
So what is it all about? In the English language we have almost more words than any other language in the world. (Sadly however most native speakers rarely use more than a tenth of them on a regular basis – but that is a whole other discussion!) In our expansive vocabulary we have a word to describe people who think only of themselves, selfish. We also have a word to describe those who think of others before themselves all the time, selfless. There is nothing in between! No word to describe the vast gulf between selfishness and selflessness. Initially one might suppose that one is wrong and the other is right, so there is no need for a middle ground. Selfish – bad; selfless – good! No! They are both as limiting in different ways. Someone who is entirely selfish may initially have life the way they want it but they invariably end up without a circle of support, lonely and unhappy. Those who are entirely selfless may be initially praised and feel good about their service to others, but with no time spent on their own needs become exhausted and resentful.
So I have devised a new expression to describe a more comfortable way of being, the middle ground between selfish and selfless. Self-full!
The best way to illustrate self-fullness is this: Imagine being on a aeroplane, sitting next to a toddler when the plane starts to move around violently and the oxygen masks come down. If you attempted to put the mask on the frightened child first, you may well end up in a deadly struggle as they thrash about in fear. This could end in tragedy for both of you. If, however you put your own oxygen mask on first as recommended, which will take you a matter of seconds, then you are in a safe position to calmly help the frightened child.
Of course, I can hear some of you saying that the child may just pull his mask off anyway however calm and reassuring you are. True; but without wishing to be harsh, at least one of you has survived and you know you did your utmost to help them live.
You are worthy of having your needs met too.
I love you, humanity