Be Your Own Life Coach
How can I help myself feel good?
The feel good factor is exponential; the better you feel about yourself and your life, the more you have the confidence to do more and begin to notice all the great things you have in your life already. Feeling gratitude and ‘counting your blessings’ may seem an outdated notion but once you are in that mode of thinking, you get into the feeling good zone.
Is it Possible to Feel Good ALL of the Time?
Is it really possible to feel good all the time? What about the devastating life experiences that shake us to our core, such as the death of a loved one or a natural disaster? How is it possible to remain in a positive emotional state when suffering from feelings of grief and despair?
The short answer is: it's not only difficult, but also detrimental to us to do so.
Our feelings are real. Trying to deny them or smooth them over with blanket statements of positive focus won't help us resolve them. Instead, it's important to honour our feelings and work through them in a positive and productive manner. How? By admitting that we feel rotten, and allowing ourselves to feel that way. It's okay to feel angry, sad, or hurt when something awful happens! Try writing in a journal about why you're sad or angry, and express the feelings rising up within you. It is only by moving through your feelings that you can come out of them eventually.
Having said that, we must also reach a point when we choose to step out of our misery and feel hopeful again. We must eventually turn our focus to thoughts of healing and peace. Continuing to stay mired in pain for an excessive amount of time can be just as detrimental as denying our pain altogether. If this is proving difficult by yourself then there are a number of therapies which can help with this such as ThetaHealing®, counselling or life coaching
Build Yourself Up
Once you are truly in touch with your feelings then it is time to build yourself up. Are you in the habit of putting yourself down a lot? Do you focus obsessively on everything you do wrong but dismiss the things you've done right?
Turn this around by making it a daily habit to emphasise your good qualities. Start praising and encouraging yourself in your self-talk. When you accomplish something good, congratulate yourself.
Using affirmations is an easy way to change your mind set. An affirmation is basically a short phrase which you repeat to yourself several times a day – when you are on the bus, walking to work, getting ready for bed, etc. You can write one to suit you or choose one of the following
- I am a valuable person.
- I'm talented and successful.
- I truly love myself.
The more you do it, the more you'll come to believe it! Today why not try my personal favourite:
‘’ I treat myself the way I would like others to treat me. ‘’
Being your own life coach is recognising yourself as your own best friend whom you love for your strengths and your weakness’. It is learning to accept yourself as you are and then encouraging and motivating yourself to be the best you can be; creating the life you want for yourself because you deserve it. If you need a little help to get started you can find a wealth of material online and in bookshops, or you could book a session with a professional life coach who will guide you in the right direction. What are you waiting for?
Nicola van Dyke